Add Forty to the Number of Chirps Produced in Fifteen Seconds by Oecanthus Fultoni

The stain does not take to the wood evenly. He thinks it has something to do with the polyurethane added to it. Also with the fact that the polyurethane is fast-drying. It leaves streaks behind the brush, clots on corners, forms tiny stalactites suspended from the bottom of the boards.
Woodworkers prefer natural oils like linseed and tung which have a hard-rubbed luster as opposed to polyurethane’s shine. Polyurethane is durable, water resistant, hard and abrasion resistant. It was cheaper at the hardware store too. That’s the main reason he got it. Later, he spends more money at the hardware store buying sandpaper and wood stain. This time without polyurethane. He sands the boards behind the house on the back stoop. He sits on the steps scrubbing a board with the sandpaper.
“How long have you been out here,” his roommate asks, stepping out the back door onto the stoop.
“Don’t even ask me,” he says and stops sanding, rolling his head from side to side to stretch his shoulders.
His roommate sits down on the edge of the stoop and he swings his legs over the side of the stairs to sit parallel to him.
“And don’t tell me how ironic it is that the time-saving stain is costing me time.”
“Don’t need to, you just did.”
“It is ironic, though,” he says.
“I know,” the roommate replies
“And I can’t help but wonder,” he continues, “that doesn’t it seem to be that way in life?”
“Yes?” His roommate answers, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it. He holds it out, saying,
“You need to calm the hell down.”
He takes the cigarette and moves the half-sanded board in his lap around behind him.
“No, seriously though, we develop technology, bond molecule to strange molecule, augmenting something we have found in nature to form a harder-working mutation.”
“Smoke that,” his roommate says, gesturing to the cigarette in his hand.
He continues, “We create something that accomplishes its goal with such dexterity and swiftness that it loses the feel of process we find in the natural. The sense that what you are enjoying has taken a long time to culture, to cultivate. That, that which is pleasing to your eye has been striving towards that aesthetic for some odd handful of time.” He stops and takes a drag.
“Are you stoned? Are you high, Claree?”
“Whatever, I’ve just been out here sanding for hours, just thinking about wood stain,” He says, rolling his eyes.
“Well, shut up and smoke that cigarette. You’re completely right but also out of control. You just need to stop thinking and be quiet.”
The night moves in around them as their silence gives it space. The thick black edging in at the pool of yellow thrown out by the back light.
His roommate stands and turns out the light, the grit of the concrete scraping quietly as he turns to reach the switch.
“Better,” he says, sitting back down.
Crickets call in the thickness of the backyard, interrupted by the whining of the tree frogs. The sound of the legs, one rubbing against the other sounds silver in the darkness, moving in a chorus of a thousand thousand.
“I was just thinking how the crickets sound like sleigh bells,” he says.
“Actually, me too. Now quiet and finish your smoking. “ His roommate says, a flame flaring in his cupped hand as he lights his own cigarette.

absentee shallot

spring is here.















It sprang right next to my dog.

a link to the stitch

check out this amazing cross stitch by servotron.

four months of work.

amazing.

the merger of my two greatest loves. thread and video games.

i probably would have ripped out my eyeballs , but i admire the dedication

dessert alchemy.

made some desserts last night.

















taro root in sweetened coconut milk. (not me, farmer's market)
pineapple pistachio custard
blackberry meringue pie.


pineapple pistachio custard.
you'll need to first make a simple custard. scald two cups of milk (slowly, don't you dare burn that milk) with a dash of salt and half a cup of sugar. i used confectioners, but i'm sure plain white would work as well. just before the milk boils, turn off the heat. pour a little of the milk into five beaten egg yolks. then pour the mixture back into the pot with the custard. heat til thick. stir stir stir. and i always cheat and throw a package of gelatin in with it to ensure setting. cool.
once that's taken care of and in the fridge, just throw together a pack of pistachio pudding, add some chopped pineapple, and mix with the pudding. chill til you like it. it's delicious. promise.

blackberry meringue pie.
prepare a simple pie crust. about two cups of flour. a stickish of butter. blend together with a pastry cutter or two knives until you get frustrated, give up, and just start doing it with your hands. once that's mixed well, sprinkle fourish tablespoons of ice cold water and mix with your hands til dough forms a ball. wrap and refridgerate.
in a small saucepan, combine two cups of blackberries, some butter, 1/3 cup of sugar, 1/4 cup of flour and spices as you see fit (cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, garam marsala!?). you could also throw in some triple sec or grand ma. heat and stir and smash till you've got a lovely dark purple mash.
pull your dough back you. roll it out to 1/4 inch thick, cut a circle with your pie plate as a guide, fold the dough in half, place in plate and unfold. spoon in your lovely dark purple mash and then bake uncovered for thirtyish minutes at 400 or until you see bubbling. while the pie is cooking, i'd take those five egg whites you have from making the custard and put them in a chilled bowl with as much sugar as you like and some cream of tartar. beat it slow. get some peaks. and spoon onto your blackberry pie after it has cooled from its stay in the oven and then throw that pie in the oven again just long enough to get some nice browning. i usually have run out of time at this point and bake it for a minute and then throw it under the broiler while i count to fifteen.


let it all chill. put it on a plate. enjoy your purple green platter.










c'est bon, clean up the splatter.

here's my television destruction. pretty sure i'm going to turn it into a little bookcase/display/shadowbox thing. i sketched out some plans, i'll upload 'em.

tv guts

got my etsy up and running. took some monster pictures today.

just another manic monday.

why is there not a jam?

took apart a tv. i have pictures. promise to post. i'm just out of my mind right now

listening to i married an astronaut




it's rainy today.

but the sun did come out to set.


making monsters tomorrow.

monster monday.

meow.